i've concluded that econs is like electone. i know i want to do it and it is so interesting but no matter how hard i try i never seem to get it right. i guess i've long come to accept the fact that i'll never play well. but i'm still hoping i'll figure econs out someday.

really feeling the heat already. don't seem to be improving in anything no matter how hard i try. it seems like everyone has grown and is continuing to grow but i'm still where i was, who i was, years ago. more stress, more commitments. i want to do what has been given to me well. who doesn't? but i wonder if i can. oh well.. can't let it get to me.

but i still believe there is smth i'm good at. smth i'll be of use to. i refuse to grumble and complain like i have the worst life ever cos i don't. there is more to life than just this.