i dun want to whine. i irritate myself tremendously when i find myself complaining like crap on this stupid blog. but i dunno what to do. i wanna just run away and do the things i wanna do. i feel so uneasy, so restless, so upset with everything. i know, perhaps whoever is looking on would think its a stupid situation to be stuck in, one that shouldn't even be so big a problem. but i can't get out of it. its a freaking black hole. i did complex no. just now and all i could think was tmd tmd tmd. i cannot focus. i'm disappointed with myself. i wish someone would erase my memory and bring me somewhere else. i wanna just forget everything and do anything i wanna do. my patience has run out. i sit here and i feel like screaming out to you but i've lost my voice. i hear nth. its like you're in another world. i've been imprisoned by myself. and i've lost the key. but it feels like the whole world's watching. and you gotta put up a show. its a glass bubble prison. it is horrible. i hate it when i can't meet expectations. i hate it when i fail to meet my own expectations. i'm acting like a childish shit. i feel so empty. i've never been like this. i dun want to whine. what right do i have. there are so many pple outside with problems bigger than mine. maybe mine isn't a problem at all. i need to go away. i need to do smth and stop thinking abt all this shit. i feel so uneasy. i feel like i'm cheating myself. conjuring up images that will never actualize, imagining scenes that will never be. i dun want to do anything. i have no motivation for anything at all.