I woke up a while ago and told myself I have to attempt at least an essay today. Now I find myself in front of the computer with absolutely no intention of doing a single piece of writing. I think I'm digging my own grave. I don't even remember the last time I wrote. Oh I do. It was prelims. That was more than a month ago. I cannot bring myself to start writing though.. So I've decided on an easier way out - blogging. I really think I'm laying out my own 'green mile'.

Goodness.

I had better get started on a comprehension, just to get used to writing again..

It's difficult to describe what's going through my head right now. On one hand, I think I'm not that worried because I've been through the O levels and so this isn't anything new. On the other hand, I feel unnervingly a lot less confident for the A's than the O's. Its like, before you attempt an O lvl science paper, you are already aware that there is a very high chance of doing well (almost guaranteed in fact), given your consistency and past results. Not so for the A's. Every paper feels like an SS/Hist paper we did in O lvls. No guarantee of a good grade and no past results to prove that you more or less have what it takes to do well in the A's. Nonetheless, I don't think I feel that anxious about any of the papers as yet. I am very worried, but I think things will only hit me when I receive my grading slip. It always takes me a while to wholly understand and appreciate - or rather, recoil from, the impact of something so great.

Yet here I am, taking an easy way out. Sheesh.

Its more than an exam. Its expectations and dreams, as cliche as it may seem.