I feel more and more stupid after each interview =X

I would say the SMU one that I did this morning was way better than the CAAS one. The professors were friendly and they didn't put on airs. But I'm very disappointed with my performance because the questions were so simple and expected yet I didn't have the proper answers.

One of the highlights of my interview
Interviewer: (Pause) Well that's a really optimistic view of the econs crisis! *looks at other interviewer and laughs*

Me: Errr yah *laughs* (thinks: I would love to disappear now cos they know how little I know abt the econs crisis)

Awkward silence

Another highlight
Interviewer: So are you intending to go into teaching?

Me: Well, no. *laughs*

*interviewers laugh*

Interviewer: So what do you intend to do then?

Me: Eh work in the econs/finance department in a firm

Interviewers: *nods*

And then they decide to change the topic.

Me: *thinks: huh? That's all???*

Yet another highlight
Interviewer: So how familiar are you with the resilience package?

Me: *stumped; realise I've completely forgotten about it* Ahh, somewhat familiar.

Interviewer: Okay so tell us what you know about it.

Me: *thinks: oh dearrrrrrrrr*

There's a lot more that I rmb actually. My mind was whirring the moment I stepped into the interview room. I spoke so quickly and yet so fluently I suprised even myself. It didn't feel like I was the one speaking. The words just came and though I know I have shown myself to be an ignorant applicant with what I said, I thank God that at least I could string sentences at lightning speed.

I'm not optimistic about the scholarship. Not at all. I'll just be a normal student. Yea. It's not that bad is it? =X

You see that's the problem with aiming high. You, or at least I, will only give my best shot for smth I am convinced I want very badly. And so I usu convince myself that I want smth real bad so that I would see myself put in my all. But when I fail to get what I want in the end, the disappointment becomes real. Although in the first place, I wouldn't even have felt anything cos I was content with what I had and I didn't exactly want that additional smth. But oh welll. Who ask me to be so lazy I won't try hard enough for smth without first believing that I really want it?

Tmr's keppel. I'm not hopeful bout this one at all.