I get highly annoyed with myself when I get upset just cos he is. Its not like he cares, not like my concern matters. I feel for lotsa people but I feel so much more for him when things go wrong. Its as if you have this need to want somebody else to be happy and you know you would go all out to make it happen, only that they wouldn't want your help and wouldn't care less that you should be bothered. I am reminded again of the rejection but I also rmb why I managed to accept his decision after struggling with it for months. I know I have always held on to the tiny hope that things would work out fine, but facing rejection time and time again was much too painful. At least I am free from that now, well, sort of.

So he says, they are bastards. They want things they cannot get.

Really?

Sometimes I feel like a fool.