It has been a really boring cny. Didn't visit many houses and had to go back to work today when I slept at like 3am after a midnight movie. Also, work was incredibly boring today. I was updating pm2s like the entire day yet I think I've only managed to clear bout a quarter of the mountain of application forms.

Darn my sis is annoying. Its so freaking cold and she still wants the fan. Waste money, waste electricity, pollute the environment and make me fall sick. Darn.

I realise I cannot have nothing to do. I cannot have time for nothing at home. I'll drive myself nuts. A few hours at home and my thoughts were all over the place alrdy. lol. But i'm tired today. Time to sleeeeeeep.

Oh and I signed up for sundown alrdy! Yay! Friday meeting yini and xj too discuss our training plans. Hehhh. More things to do before I go back to school! =)))

I'm finally feeling a little tired of running around and having lotsa activities back to back. haha.. I was on the bus for like only 5 mins today and I was already asleep and I almost couldn't get up when I reached my stop.

Went out with 6J yesterday. Clarke quay. And then walked home with Jiehao from there. Took about an hour but the weather was nice and I wasn't feeling like going home so it came quite timely actually. Got home about 1+ and crashed at 2. Woke up bout 8 today cos 2a'04 was supposed to meet at woodlands at 9.30 so we could go visit huang lao shi before 11. I was late but still the earliest. >< the sleep I forgone!

But anyway, we arrived at her place at about 12+ and hanged around till bout 3, went for food and then I left for reunion dinner at my grandma's place. Its really nice being around them, listening to them talk and just enjoying their company.

But a little of today's conversation reminded me of the past. We were talking about how it seems break ups these days happen because of really minor issues. It seems no matter how close a relationship 2 people can have, its still really fragile. Anything can happen. How do you ever find enough courage to allow yourself to fall in love, unconditionally then? There is so much uncertainty, so much fear and pain you're opening yourself up to.

I think I'm moving on well.. Occasionally, I find myself looking at his fb account just so. I still can't bring myself to think of what used to be, but I guess, eventually it'll all go away?

These days I wonder what I'm actually doing. Lol. Kinda lost heart for the many things I used to be on fire for, things that matter, things that help me build treasures in heaven. I don't know if I'll ever live up to the expectations people have of me.

I'm bored! I wanna sleep but I feel like going out, like now and just hang around with people. It's 11.25pm. Haha.. I'm not very sane anymore. Tmr night will be more fun! Will be at clarke quay with the 6J people. I hope the turnout's good.. Actually I'm kinda suprised we made it this far, considering what our class was like at the beginning. We even managed to visit Hainan tgt, even if it was just a handful of us. It'll be good to see them tmr!

Going sundown marathon with yini and xj! Only the 10km one la. But it's exciting! Haha.. We have yet to come up with our training schedule, but it feels good just knowing that I have a race to train for. Gives me motivation to get back into shape. I don't think I can even do 4km now. Oh well. And maybe, maybe we can go for the stand chart half marathon end of the yr! I really wanna do that one again. Hehh..

Alright. Hopefully I won't have tuition tmr. Kinda sian. Oh welllllll.

I'm sick! But much better as compared to yesterday, all thanks to panadol and like 15 hrs of sleep straight. No work today either! Maybe falling sick isn't that bad.

I'm kinda really bored with work but I guess I'm getting pretty accustomed to it. I'm more bored with tuition than with work, even though the money is easier. I'm definitely not taking on any students after this one. Its a pain! And to think I'm working in MOE's recruitment unit. On the other hand, I guess it's nice to know I'm actually needed in office, now that its their peak period and given MOE's heavy marketing as of late.

On a lighter note, I got my leggings! But they're not ribbed and they're not exactly the colour I want. I think I'll look like a clown in them. Hehh.. We'll see when I'm daring enough to wear them.

I want ribbed leggings this colour!! Okay not quite the right one.Its the deep but bright red nail polish kinda colour and I don't think I'll EVER get it. Whinesss..

I finally got my dresses today, and you would never imagine where they came from - Good ole chinatown! Hehh.. To think they had what I couldn't find anywhere else in Singapore. Or maybe I'm becoming auntie. Hahaha.. I highly doubt so. I like the floral prints! Really pretty.. =D

There's a lot more shopping to do. I think I'll spend all of my first pay. Goodness. I'm gonna save like 3/4 of my next pay. =X I want a navy blue cotten top, black pants and a huge bag! But I shall refrain from buying more shoes.

And I wanna spend on the insides too, you know. Haha.. Was looking with huiyi just now and there are really a lot we would love having, but they can actually cost as much as an evening gown. Madness, but we're still intending to get at least a piece. Maybe a slightly cheaper one huh.

What's the only benefit of working? Money to spend.

It'll go away. It'll all go away. One day my memory will fail me and I'll forget. Or maybe I'll remember but remember it all with a smile. Actually I don't want to forget. Let it remain pleasant memories. It should be the right decision. He's never wrong.

I was fine that evening, amazingly. And all I want is to rmb how that evening felt. This nostalgic moment will pass and it'll all be okay again. I know I always have a good friend.

I have tried my very best. I give up, not gladly, but not grudgingly anymore either. Perhaps its enough to know that I've fought hard, even if i I've still lost. Now I can let go.

Yay. =)

Trust is weakness. It is the most stupid thing to do.

Is this all?